What does it mean to “Be a man”?

The definition of a “man” can be so misunderstood in many ways.

According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Man: One possessing in high degree the qualities considered distinctive of manhood. (such as courage, strength, and vigor).

But what are those qualities?

Men have this stereotype that a man is: someone who does not cry, athletic, physical, strong, intelligent, successful, intimidating, rich, someone who has no fear and someone who has no flaws/weaknesses.

Does that really makes a man?

No way.

A true “man” is someone who is kind, vulnerable, who lives in service of others. A true "man" is someone who is kind, vulnerable, who lives in service to others and humanity, trying to make the world better in the way that he can, someone who lifts up the people around him.

Masculinity is doing something meaningful that gives value to others.

Every man, at some point in our lives, wear "masks":
-Stoic: not showing our feelings.
-Athlete: prove to be a man by being physically competitive to the extreme.
-Material: material value equals the value of your masculinity.
-Sexual: the number of women they “conquer”.
-Aggressive: having a temper when something displeases us.
-Joker: evade our problems with humor.
-Intellectual: believing that you know absolutely everything.
-Alpha: You always have to be in control of everything.

Many times, we use these "masks" to hide who we really are and hide our fears.

Fear of not being perfect.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of expressing our feelings.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of accepting our mistakes.
Fear of being wrong.
Fear of being vulnerable

We need to learn to be vulnerable.

By being vulnerable, we can establish better relationships with the people around us, learn to communicate, learn to listen to them and be empathetic with them, put our ego aside.
Many toxic actions of men are justified with phrases like: "Boys will be boys." This phrase is a constant excuse for not taking responsibility for your actions and ending up blaming other people.

Even the "I'm a mess" excuse. We're not really a mess, we just make disastrous decisions.

As men we have 2 stages:
Being an unbeliever, we believe that our actions have no consequences.
Playing the victim, trying to justify our actions and not admitting our mistakes.

When I speak of this toxic masculinity, I speak for myself, I cannot point finger at other men, each one has to realize their mistakes. To forgive ourselves for things we have done and to move forward as people. Many times we believe that we are right and we close our minds.

Vulnerability.
You have no courage if there’s no vulnerability.

Once you escape toxic masculinity, you can see toxic masculinity.

I am writing this to try to bring light to someone.
If I had kept quiet, I would have felt like a fraud.